D3 body, D1 cock
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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