I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
