if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
