i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
