In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
