White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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