Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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