Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
