I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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