ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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