he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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