Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
