sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
