Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
