Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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