do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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