i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
