did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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