go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
