I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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