and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
