Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
