You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
