think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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