drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
