Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
