I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
