Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
