sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
