I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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