I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
