im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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