wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
