So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
