Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I had to cum in my sink.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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