So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
