Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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