Christians are straight up FREAKS
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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