...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
