I think my vagina is haunted
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
