Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
