Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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