Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
