Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
