he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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