I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
