I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
