Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
