life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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