Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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